Friday, February 25, 2011

101.2 | pleasant surprise

I never considered myself as a Physics person. In fact, I spent an enormous amount of time resenting pesky constants and equations. And yeah, my Physics scores. Associating the subject with my teacher, I guess I never really took a second glance on her. However, an interview for a certain project gave me an opportunity to get to know her better. I felt something like, I don’t know, resonance!  She has so many interests, and she’s so inspiring because she places God on top of her list. This is so cheesy, but she has struck a chord in me.


P.S. (because of the 99-word limit): She loves Korean movies too! Hoho. 

Thursday, February 24, 2011

101.1 | the bomb

It only seems like yesterday when I first encountered a girl who I would later on consider as a friend for life. Her physical stature complemented my first impression of her − timid, quiet, the exact opposite of the qualities I've discovered (and loved) as I got to know her better. She turns out to be a “small but terrible” wonder who, with all her God-given abilities, still manages to keep her feet on the ground. She speaks her mind fearlessly, loves boundlessly and gives generously. She has been a major inspiration to me, and even more. Thanks always.

a day to remember

Today, for the first time, it really sank into me that there’s no escaping the end of high school. I used to joke about this, always believing that I’ll never run out of days to spend with my friends and classmates. But now, the inevitable truth stares me in the face – the hourglass is running out of precious sand.

I guess I will save mushiness at its finest for a later time (prolly after graduation or grad ball). Tonight, let me write about one memorable day in Pisay.

It was probably one of the most ordinary days ever, if it were not for the fact that the seniors took two periodic exams today. However, I choose to grant the future me a favor by writing about the sweetness of an ordinary day in Pisay so that she may be able to relive it, treasure it and remember as if not one day had passed.

BANGAG
I woke up feeling like a zombie after getting only four hours of sleep. I slacked off the day before, fantasizing about the wonderful summer ahead of me and watching every possible video in Youtube about DNA technology just so I could avoid actual studying. By 10 PM, I have not even started brushing up on Chemistry yet. A fatal mistake, as I learned the next day.

CAF CRAMMING BUDDIES
Before slumping onto my bed, I printed Jon’s supernotes and other random files I found in the internet. Thank God the temptation to sleep right away without printing stuff did not entirely get me.

I walked like a horse (even faster than my usual fast pace in walking) and headed straight to the caf to study with my ever-reliable cramming buddies. I was trying to use silly mnemonics (Zn: thioacetamide so “Zana thio na lang”) and visualizations (like Katy Perry holding a placard with S2O3 writen on it since NaS2O3+H2SO4 smells like firework) when a classmate saw my stupid mnemonics scribbles and laughed at me like crazy.

These bits and pieces of information I remembered proved to be actually useful, however.

ONE GRUELING, ONE SORT-OF OKAY EXAM
The Chemistry exam was H-A-R-D. It scared the hell out of me because I failed to familiarize myself with so many things (aside from the things I tried to memorize through stupid mnemonics stuff). If it were not for the solubility rules in the first page, I’ll probably die right then and there.

The Bio exam was sort-of okay. The usual (annoying) questions were still there (i.e., D:  both A and B, E: A, B and C apply) but for me, the test was manageable.

LUNCH
I skipped lunch because I spent my entire allowance to pay for the ticket to the musical on Sunday. Still, I was fully satisfied by a conversation with my Camia friends. We talked about our plans for summer. Domz wanted to join FEAD, a leadership program in Marinduque where participants would be building schools and doing all sorts of things to heighten social responsibility. Pauline wanted to learn how to play tennis and the harmonica, while Thierry wanted to take Korean classes. I also told them my plans to do some volunteer work (I hope it pushes through) and play the guitar some more during the summer.

The clock struck 12 and our conversation was kind of interrupted.

THE Q’s (QUESTIONS)
Victor and I finalized our questions for Maam Torralba at the Boys’ Dorm lobby. We forgot to research on basic information like her hobbies and years of teaching in Pisay so I had to dash to the library to check her Facebook information page. When we were finally ready, we learned that Sarah (she was our groupmate) went to Trinoma with Ian and Jeffry, we had to wait for at least an hour first.

GAZ TALK
Thierry, Victor and I chanced upon Cza and Chen who were painting the gazebo posts then. After talking about various topics like community service and summer plans (see, I’m that obsessed with summer plans), we eventually came across the topics MBB and Intarmed. I told them I did not want to think about these stuff first since I have not passed the Intarmed interview yet in the first place. So we assumed the still unlikely and I asked them for advice.

Truth be told, I am not really that fully decided yet. There is a part of me who is very much willing to throw away all chances of having a decent social life and studying like there’s no tomorrow. After all, my father told me that it is better to experience suffering before prosperity, so that I may be able to fully enjoy the fruits of hard work.  However, there is also a part of me who wants to experience college in the most enriching way possible, and what better way to do that than to lighten up a little (without compromising my studies, of course)?

The pro-MBB side of me is wavering partly because of my parents. Though my parents’ incessant talk about this annoys me, I try to understand them because I think all parents have wished for their children to become doctors at one point or another. Once again, I got reminded of the reality and reminded myself not to stress over this since I don’t know the Intarmed results yet.

THE A’S (ANSWERS)
At last, Sarah arrived already and we started the interview already. Prior to this, I wrote a letter to Ma’am Torralba during Physics class. Basically, I told her that I want to know her more and be friends with her someday if possible.

I guess I got my wish today. I learned all sorts of things about her during the interview, like her favorite pastime and her relationship to her family. I will not talk about the details here, however. Better watch our Eng Journ documentary (coming out soon) :P

COMM SERVE!
White paint. I put on my Jejecap and labgown and started working with Ian and Reg. I never knew Coat Saver was such a cool brand. It was a refreshing change from the oil-based Boysen black paint that generously spilled onto my orange skirt the last time I worked. Coat Saver’s water-based so we found it easy to remove the paint on our hands afterwards.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE
Three children from the other side of the fence approached me while I was painting the perimeter fence of Pisay. The names of the first two are Dodong and Michael. The third person, I couldn’t remember. Dodong’s family is now in Montalban, Rizal together with other former residents who were asked to transfer to the relocation site. He was now living with his uncle.

I asked them what they wanted to be when they grow up. Dodong wanted to be a doctor; Michael, a soldier. But they aren’t exactly optimistic that their dreams will come true. The third person stopped studying altogether this year. Michael’s family, meanwhile, is burdened by the skyrocketing prices of medicines for a sick member of their family. Most likely, he will stop studying as well.

After a while, the three of them left already. Reg started playing sentimental OPM songs that made me remember lots of exciting encounters during first and second year. After a while, another person approached me again – this time, it was a lady taking a break from street sweeping.

She shared with me a wonderful dream, a dream washed away by the brutal tides of poverty. Once, she told me, she wanted to be a mechanical engineer. She was interested in cars and anything that involves tinkering with electronic stuff. She was not able to realize that dream due to the financial constraints of their family. “You must study hard while your parents can afford it,” she told me again and again. “These days, many children are throwing their lives away by slacking off or getting pregnant prematurely.” 

If only, if only. I think those words are the saddest pair in the entire English vocabulary. Coping with the high standards of living given meager salary is hard enough, but it is even harder to look back and remember the dreams of foregone times.

This short but memorable encounter will forever be engraved in my heart, I guess. I will keep this in
 mind to help me make wise choices during this college. But most of all, I’ll remember them as I remind myself about what I am really studying for. As a song succinctly tells us, “Walang nabubuhay para sa sarili lamang.”

MY NEW LOVE AFFAIR
The hard work paid off, as we were able to paint 13 half-walls (half because the other side was not painted yet) in three hours.

I signed up for the choir thing in front of the cafeteria then I asked Ian to go with me to get a copy of The Elegant Universe from Maam Torralba. The first part of this video was played during our last Physics class. I heard about the String Theory before already, but I was too busy (or maybe lazy?) to find out what it is really about. I’m really thankful that Maam Torralba took her time out to think of something nice (and possibly even haunting, at least for me) to watch for our last meeting.

Ian convinced me to join the Praisefest on the last day of classes, March 9. I was initially apprehensive, thinking about the things I could possibly miss like a trip to Trinoma with my friends, but I realized that I was somehow being insolent so I obliged. We went to the Physics room for the Praisefest practice. Maam Rosos was singing when we arrived. I never knew that she could sing that well! I tried my luck with being FC (she was not my teacher last year) asked her when she fully surrendered and recognized God’s lordship. Interestingly, we had a nice conversation. I learned a lot of things from her and before long, I wanted to experience the same thing myself.

Four years ago, I was not as close to God as I wanted or hoped to be. Fast forward to four years, I still am not, but here’s hoping that as one chapter in my life takes into culmination, another door will open leading to a better and deeper relationship with the Lord.

PROM
I arrived at home. Prom songs were playing. Apparently, the owner of an events area behind our house hosted a JS prom. I got inspired. And so I began writing.

P.S. Ang saya  nila. Buti pa sila maganda yung playlist :))

Friday, February 18, 2011

101 Words Project

As a tribute to important people that made my Pisay experience fun/exciting/emo/memorable/worthwhile, I thought of starting a writing project. Stay tuned.


Okay. So here are the rules. In 101 words, I will write about a person who has made a difference in my life. It's actually very much like a yearbook description, except it's more brief.

Title (2 words): I'll write what that person would be (in my opinion) if he/she were an object. Or basically anything that I associate with him/her.
Body (99 words): My actual description of the person

I wish I did this sooner so that I could have shared my write-up to people for their yearbook entries, but better late than never, right? So here we go.

pre-grad survey

Note to self: Fill up this self-made survey. If you still can't think of an answer, leave it blank, but make sure that this will get done before you graduate.

Reasons for doing this
I'm bored.
The year is ending.
I want to be better.

Johna through the years
First Year: carefree
Second Year: 
Third Year: contemplative 
Fourth Year: conflicted
First Year College: creative, planner type, weird when she's with friends haha

Advice to your past self
First Year:
Second Year:
Third Year:
Fourth Year:
First Year College:

Important things you learned 
First Year:
Second Year:
Third Year:
Fourth Year:
First Year College: I should start being more homely! I should start saving money!

Songs of the year
First Year: 
Second Year: Sway, Goodbye Days, Everywhere
Third Year: Huling El Bimbo, Love Song, Forever and Always, Take a Bow, I'm With You
Fourth Year: Collide, Torete, High, Pag-Asang Taglay(!), Taking Chances, Fearless, Terrified
First Year College: Super Bass, What Makes You Beautiful, Ako Na Lang

Memorable events:
First Year: Last day of school, trips around the oval
Second Year: Trips around the oval, Pasig trip
Third Year: Prom
Fourth Year: Sigaw, ABS trip, Sleepovers, Periodical section talks
First Year College: 16th Birthday, Graduation, 1st Day at School, Mr. and Ms. Freshie, BPI Awarding Ceremony, Meeting Dr. Wang, NYC Event, Sleepover @ Karen's

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

relevant

Aksdfksdfjdksfjksdf.
The last something that meant anything

I saw this on the header of a random Tumblr awhile ago, and I don't know, it sounded a bit, well, relevant.

And now, just as I was writing the last two lines, I suddenly heard the song "Oo" by Up Dharma Down. I fell in love with that song the moment I heard it during Liriko because of its distinct sound and, once again, relevance (before, at least). That a song was playing in the background wasn't really surprising since I'm used to getting bugged by the loud music of our neighbors, but why that song. Hoho.

Anyway. I'll start reading Fil stuff now for the Achievement Test tomorrow.

P.S. This blog is getting crappier and crappier, I think? I'm sad :(

Friday, February 4, 2011

what is mad, sad and bad all at the same time :|
what is pretending to be perfectly fine

yuck emo :-j nice timing ugh
it's prom tomorrow.

this. because i feel so bad that i want to shred everyone into pieces

1. you. yes you. you're so annoying. can you please stop bothering me? or commenting at anything that has anything to do with me? i know that you're not fc since we've shared some good times, but i hate you now. i hate you, i hate you! goodbye.

2. you. yes you. loser cheater bitch. best flirt award goes to you. i want to get a burning coal and smash it into your face. do you think people are just toys you can play with? i hate you.

3. you. yes you. you think you're helping but you really aren't. why don't you just leave me alone and stop making tactless comments (only i can do that)?

4. you. yes you. you're my friend, but it seems like you take great joy and having other people laugh at me. it's fine, but i feel ksfhslkdfhkdfdk this week okay. i'm not really sport or anything right now.

5. you. yes you. you've been a nuisance to me since forever. before, you were this person who always wants her way to be done. i couldn't tell if you were my friend or simply a backstabber. now, i congratulate you, not because you've grown prettier or wittier, but because you finally got the thing you wanted. you're so much better. really. so much better.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

i really just have to let this out

Fuuuck. Fuck fuck fuck
I hate the world

I thought Taylor Swift was a bitch and a psycho when she decided to release the song "Better than Revenge," but now I can actually kinda get where that was coming from. I've been in a bad mood since I-don't-know-when this week. Uncooperative group mates, schemy members of other groups, some stupid decisions, betrayal of trust. I feel like I'm about to explode. Maybe it would be better if I lock myself in a room for half an hour or so and scream there like crazy, instead of ruining other people's moods just because I feel very very angry at myself, at some people, the world in general actually.

I really can't believe I'm typing this. You know what's annoying? When people ask you, "Are you okay? What is wrong?". Duhhhhh, I'm obviously not okay so why don't they shut up and mind their own fucking business.

I hate it, I hate it. I hate you for ruining everything. For not being brave enough to tell me. For choosing the safe way out, for entering a whole new world without even saying, "Hey, you're on your own, bitch. I don't care about you. Not at all."

Also, I don't feel like attending the prom anymore. Maybe it would be better to get some sleep instead.