I know I'm weird and all

But I was hoping you'd love me nonetheless.

Old habits die hard 
when you’ve got a sentimental heart. 

Colorgenics + Keirsey

I am fond of answering personality tests, though I am not entirely sure whether the results are accurate or simply generalized versions that may apply to just about anyone. A few weeks ago, I took a formal personality test with my classmates as part of the research of  one Behavioral Studies student. Her thesis was about the relation among the intellectual ability, personality and emotional well-being of INTARMED students. Her topic's interesting and relevant, and I 'd love to read a copy of her thesis once she gets it done.

I took another personality test today, although it's just something I randomly saw on the internet. The results sound a lot like me (or at least, how I perceive myself), so I'm posting it here.

You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

You like the better things in life. You are sensuous and emotional. You are a follower of the Arts and you seek an environment that will give you the fulfilment to the senses that you need.

Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict - conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.

It would seem that an existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory and you feel that there is little that you can do about it without 'some help from your friends', but you have no desire to show the world how vulnerable you really are and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this particular relationship as a depressing tie and although you would like to be independent and unhampered, you don't want to run the risk of losing anything. All this leads you to react 'touchily' and with impatience, while the urge to 'get away from it all' results in considerable restlessness and stress. Your ability to concentrate may suffer.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

*EDIT: Here's another one! I am, apparently, INTP. Some tidbits:

 

• Architects are rare - maybe one percent of the population - and show the greatest precision in thought and speech of all the types. 
•  It is difficult for an Architect to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker's error. 
• Ruthless pragmatists about ideas, and insatiably curious, Architects are driven to find the most efficient means to their ends. Authority derived from office, credential, or celebrity does not impress them. Architects are interested only in what make sense, and thus only statements that are consistent and coherent carry any weight with them.
• Architects often seem difficult to know. They are inclined to be shy except with close friends, and their reserve is difficult to penetrate. Able to concentrate better than any other type, they prefer to work quietly at their computers, and often alone.  
• Architects also become obsessed with analysis, and this can seem to shut others out. Once caught up in a thought process, Architects close off and persevere until they comprehend the issue in all its complexity. 

The last time I took this test, I also got the same result. I'm not entirely sold on the idea of being INTP, though. The last time I checked, I am not rational. Also, I prefer to let spontaneous ideas flow when taking on projects. Admittedly, though, the ones in bold seem to apply to me.

(Yes, I am flooding my blog with personality test results tonight.)

For you, from forever ago

Old songs fill my Sunday afternoon.

Hail, my first weekend stay.

Sometimes, it feels like I just want to stay here forever.

My world, in a vast and unending wrinkle in time, instead of an irreversible timeline.

On another note, it's my first time to hear Kate Torralba sing.

It seems like her musicality is as awesome as her space.

MY WEEKEND'S BEEN ABOUT:

The Matrix Trilogy (Cheers to going to bed at 3 AM for this)

MOTHB (Myth of the Human Body Exhibit). 

It's so fun going out with Friendless Friends!

Doing my body a favor by eating heated food. 

(All I've been eating for the past few days is chicken from KFC)

 Sir Esguerra once told us that 50% of the things we have to do we don't like doing, but we have to doanyway. (And schoolwork may just be that 50%) Still, I beg to disagree. I don't have to do what I don't want to do. If I don't like the way things are, then I must do something to change things (either my perspective or my circumstances). 

But yeah, that's just the lazy me speaking. I could ramble here the whole day but that won't change anything and I still have to do what I have to do for school.

Seriously, though. Do I have to live my life with that inevitable 50%? Can't I do what I want to do and not be constrained by "the rules"? Eek.

Here comes a feeling you thought you'd forgotten

No, not really.

Here comes a phase I thought I'd forgotten (a phase ruled by Japanese songs!)

This is an awesome instrumental cover of  "One More Time, One More Time," one of the lovely soundtracks of an equally lovely movie, "5 Centimeters Per Second."

The song brings warm feelings all over. Somehow, this makes me want to memorize the lyrics or translate the song into English so that I can, in a little way, take part in its beauty too. (That was what I did before for Korean or Japanese songs I liked.)

Some people cannot understand all the fuss about Asian stuff and I completely get their point. They say that it is impractical (illogical even) to keep on patronizing music, drama or fashion that you do not understand. However, I do have an answer as well (at least for the music part, which I really like).

Music transcends a lot of boundaries, language included. Hell, there is this story about one great singer that made the audience cry although all she did was sing the alphabet song with feelings. This does not mean that we should skip grasping the entire song's meaning, but you can always Google the translations, right?

Again, this does not mean that I like just about any Japanese or Korean song that falls on my lap. Personally, I have this sorting method where I listen to a song first and take note of my first general impressions. Now, if the song does not suit my taste, I do not even bother. However, if I find the song cool for some reason, then I try to know more about it. It's that simple, right? (That seems to be my "methodology" for all kinds of songs, actually. Unless it's a song from an artist I love, or it's recommended by a person whom I have similar music taste with. Then I try to reconsider.)

Probably I'm not making any sense right now, but good night all the same!

Sleep and other things that matter (for that matter)

1. clean room

2. friends

3. my phone (according to my mom)

4. an exciting life

5. a happy life

6. education

7. how I spend my Fridays

8. my red notebook

9. internet connection (this won't be on the list of my created needs soon)

10. faith, hope and love (I don't like sounding prissy though. But these still hold, regardless)

11.memories 

12. my sanity (intact)

//I keep on making lists just so I could build the momentum and start writing regularly again 

Random Things on My Mind

Words alone just won't cut it today.

I have yet to give mine a name.

It's only now that I learned that Blogspot has a new interface!

I've always thought of black glasses as something cool.

I hope I'd have no need for a pair anytime soon, though.

The fact that I haven't done anything related to my term paper this weekend

 doesn't bother me, surprisingly.

Children's books － and why I want to write one.

Whatever happened to my pre-college manifesto

"MANIFESTO:

I will live my life to the fullest by giving my best. No bounds, no limits, no regrets. I will abandon my comfort zone and break the wall that separates me from my goals. 

I will be alert, street-smart and independent. I will protect myself by living in the present. 

I shall not stray from the straight path. I will face every challenge with a clear mind and positive outlook. I will make friends along the way, grow as a person, and take every opportunity as a chance to improve.

I will strive to help others better their lives. I will not live for myself alone, and I will try my best to do something for others. 

I will be better."

A Little Experiment

Something that captured my attention lately is Newspaper Blackout, which is basically a different method of making poems. If you have some newspaper and a permanent marker at hand, you can create by subtracting − that is, crossing out unnecessary words in articles to have your very own poem.

Before sleeping last night, I came up with my first blackout poem:

“Syphilis”

Of course, I tried doing this several times before I came up with a decent poem. I either got stuck in an article or messed up the shading after outlining the words. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the process so I made another one.

“What Marriage Should Be Like”

It’s basically as real and creative as it gets. There is no right or wrong way to make a blackout poem, but you get the idea right? The best thing about this is that you get to recycle paper while sharpening your writing skills as well. So come on, try making one during your spare time too! :)

For inspiration, visit http://newspaperblackout.tumblr.com/

Childhood memories. 

Hello Kitty was my favorite cartoon character back then. I used to frequent Sanrio stores and collect all sorts of Hello Kitty Items like drawers, calculators, pens and stuffed toys.

Knowing this, Tita Grace gave me this cross stitch work as a gift. She lived in our house before and took care of me when I was a kid. We had a plenty of good memories together, until she got married and transferred to Batangas.

This is a lovely unframed picture encapsulating those happy times. I wonder if this is what my siblings would also feel in the future, now that another relative of ours lives in our house and takes care of them. I smile at the thought that they would probably feel the same joy and nostalgia in reminiscing.

Erica wouldn’t probably be here forever, and she’d chart her own path eventually. But for now, all’s great and good. Highs and lows. Brights and blues. Safe to say that we’re living the life.

P.S. Yup, that’s Popol. It’s what relatives and family friends call me. Imagine, I only found out what my nickname actually means last night. It’s a wordplay of Pope Paul (similar to what Pisay is like to Philippine Science). I used to hate my nickname so much, but now, not anymore.

Things I'd Like to Read Soon

Also: your mind.

It's not like the rift between us could get any wider, but seeing your face every once in a while used to be my consolation. Now, however, it's like staring into space. Or more like staring into nothingness). I don't know what to do to make my life happy and breezy again, like what it used to be. Admittedly, sadness was not foreign to me even then, but the scale between yin and yang has tipped of even more now that I'm in this new chapter.

Aside from laughing everyday (more than the everyday normal dose, in my opinion), my life nowadays is pretty much nondescript. And if I should make things more poetic, I can say:

"Hollow laughs hold me together, preventing the uprooting of my everything"

I hope this is just a phase. Sadness for vast stretches of time, nah, that just won't cut it.

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Joseph Addison

All three, please. Especially the last one.