mumunting yaman

Note: This is an essay I wrote for an writing contest last 2007.

Ang perlas na huwad, kapag kiniskis sa pisngi ng kapwa perlas, ay magagasgas, mag-iiba ang kulay at hindi na mawawala pa ang lamat na nalikha. Mapapahiya ang alahero na nagtitinda ng ganoong uri ng perlas. Bago makuha ang perlas na tunay, kailangang paghirapan ito. Sisirin sa pusod ng dagat. Hanapin at halughugin. Mahirap ang ganitong gawain dahil kailangan mong isugal ang iyong buhay upang magkaroon lamang ng perlas. Yaong hindi ka mapapahiya. Yaong kahit ikiskis sa ibang bagay, magagasgas nga ngunit mawawala rin ng kusa. Yaong kahit sunugin ay hindi mawawalan ng kintab at kinang pagkat tunay ngang perlas.

Alalaong baga, maikukumpara ang perlas na ito sa kabataan ng kasalukuyan. Upang maging tunay na perlas, kinakailangang dumaan sa pagsubok, hubugin at patibayin ng karanasan. Magiging produktibo lamang ang kabataan kung sila ay mapapalaki ng wasto at sapat.

Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kaylaki ng responsibilidad ng mga magulang na nagtatanim ng punla sa kanilang mga anak. Kawangki nila ang mga magsasakang nagtatanim ng mga buto sa katirikan man ng araw, makapagpatubo lamang ng punong magbibigay ng matamis na bunga.

Mistulang munting halaman ang kabataan na nangangailangan ng suporta mula sa komunidad upang magtagumpay at bumuo ng bansang maunlad at maginhawa. Ang mga institusyon sa ating komunidad tulad ng paaralan, simbahan at silid-aklatan ay nagtutulong-tulong upang humulma ng mga kapaki-pakinabang na indibidwal sa hinaharap. Patuloy na nagbibigay ng kaalaman ang mga ito upang masikatan ng sinag ng sining, karunungan at kagalingan tungo sa naghihintay na bukas.

Kinakailangan din ng kontribusyon ng pamahalaan upang matiyak ang pag-usbong ng mga mumunting buto. Diligan, alagaan at bantayan. Bantayang maigi nang hindi dapuan ng mga perwisyong insekto. Bantayan nang mataman upang hindi maligiran ng mga damong aagaw sa sustansya ng isang halamang kapaki-pakinabang. Tunay ngang ang halamang kapaki-pakinabang ay kabataan at ang mga insekto’t damo ay ang mga masasamang impluwensya na maaring gumapi sa kabataan.

Kung lalagumin natin ang lahat nang ito, kapag tigib na sa talino, galing at talento ang mga kabataan, kaya na nilang buuin ang ating bayang mahal. TInitiyak kong arkipelago man ang ating bansa, bibigkisin ito ng isang tanikala ng pagkakaisa. Oo, pagkakaisa ang siyang susi para buuin ang isang bansang nililigid ng pagmamahalan paggalang, kaunlaran at kapayapaan. Sa kamay ng mga kabataang huhulmahin ngayon ang mukha ng ating bayan bukas.

Kapagka naisagawa ito, maliwanag pa sa sikat ng araw na kayang-kaya na ng mga kabataang Pilipinong makipagsabayan sa mga ibang bansa. Maibabalik na rin ang magandang imahe ng bansang ating ginigiliw. Kung lilingunin natin ang ating kasaysayan, minsan nang tiningala ang ating bansa sa buong mundo nang humawak ng pinakamataas na katungkulan ang ating kababayang si Carlos P. Romulo sa Nagkakaisang Bansa. Kung kaya nating makipagsabayan noon, tinitiyak kong kaya rin natin ngayon. Kaya nating sabayan ang ibang bansa sa larangan ng sining, edukasyon at maging sa pulitika.

Kaya ang panawagan ko bilang kabataan ng kasalukuyan, kami sana’y hulmahing tunay. Mamumuhunan po kayo sa amin. Pagkat batid kong kung paano kami hubugin ngayon ay ganoon din ang katangiang tataglayin namin bukas. Kapagka matibay ang aming pundasyon, kayang-kaya naming buuin ang bansa tungo sa bantayog ng kaunlaran at nang ang ating bansa ay muling dumakila’t kilalanin bilang isang bansang matatag.

i'm antisocial.

(In response to the question, "What is your worst negative trait/behavior"?)

"No man is an island."

A seemingly no-brainer quote, yet one that I find hard to fully put to heart. I've been told that I sometimes exude an intimidating aura, which tends to shoo people away. Not that I mind, though. I prefer to be alone, except when I'm with my close friends.

Sometimes, though, I long for fun and stimulating conversations with strangers. Most people talk about nonsense crap these days but once in a while, I find a diamond in the rough, a person worth knowing and sharing ideas with. Of course, I may not be spared from utter quirkiness with that person either, but that I can usually deal with. I even find it cool sometimes.

And I'm not a big fan of parties either. I'd rather stay home and lie on my bed while reading my favorite book and drinking a cup of milk. I fee that small talk is 80% superficial, and that people always never mean what they say during those parties. They either i) beat around the bush, then reveal the favor they wanna ask from you after five minutes or so, ii) begin by asking what your life is like, then ask a gazillion questions about the Pisay system, so-and-so. I don't mind that at all, but sometimes, being asked again and again about exactly the same questions can get tiring (not to mention frustrating).

But no, if you think that I'm a mere stubborn brat who wants it her way and intends to keep it that way, you're wrong. I want to APPEAR more open (Machiavelli says you don't really have to be, just appear to be so) and more forgiving when it comes to these parties. My mom often chastises me for my behavior, and I don't want another "the talk" anytime soon. Also, I'm wondering if I'm missing something by being like this, which is why I'd like to see the other side of the fence before settling and becoming certified "AS", if ever.

P.S. Maybe antisocial can be the new emo. Hee.

an inconvenient truth

I don't get you. I wish I did, but I have lots of things I have to do besides wasting my time on this repeated maze that in a way's starting to get convenient anyway. So yeah, I don't care that I don't get it and I doubt I ever will.
______

I understand things perfectly now. I am secretly aware of your foolish plans, hidden desires, inner conflicts. Seemingly, I have perfected the art of contrivance, but my fears are not at all assuaged. I may have penetrated the inner lining of your mind, but in my hands is a messy jumble of this and that, a huge junk of useless information that is yet to make sense.

After everything I have extracted, I am back to square one.

911.

a bunch of pretty yet useless phrases in my head

shipwreck in my head

raptured thought vessels
gamma male*
reverberating mirage
puckered lips and playful prayers
enshrouded with blinding sparks
kangaroo thoughts (fleeting)
twiddling long brown locks
puffy cotton-candy skirt
signature stance
retroed the scene*
treading across liquid dreams
soulful slumber
contrived confession

econbiofilperio | if you don't mind it, it won't matter (oh really.)

emotions

Incomprehensible, irrevocable, unbelievable.

Emotions. I've always believed that people should guard their emotions. For me, it is the waterloo of every great man, the evil mark signifying the impending fall of every beautiful woman. Well-conceived plans are easily dissolved once this cunning creature creeps into the equation. People start becoming irrational, impulsive, vulnerable. They start expecting and holding on to empty words and promises.

Suddenly, people's hearts cease to become theirs. They enter the risky business of falling without any assurance of refuge nor momentary salvation. Maybe, for others, that is exactly what makes the whole thing worthwhile. But I beg to differ. The least I could do for my sanity is spare myself from this hopeless case.

Ahh, the freedom of a robot.

stopcock

I have this nasty habit of stopping just before reaching the finish line. When everything seems set and delicately perfect, my inner clock turns into a halt and I turn my back on victory.

I do this because I feel that finishing one long run and ticking that little circle shorten my grand to-do list and thus, bring me closer to life's end.

This line of thinking is erroneous, I know. Nevertheless, I'm saving all the goodness for now.