I Don't Care What Anyone Says, Don't Be A B!tch ~ David Bonifacio

Reading "Nice Girls Finish Last" and "Why Men Marry Bitches" as research for my articles. Some tips are practical, but I completely disagree with the motivation and the manipulation of the titles. This isn’t a review since I haven’t read the whole of both books.

In this world that has no appreciation for etymology, people have forgotten that being a bitch once meant you were as good as a dog, being a slut meant you were dirty and cheap, and being a whore meant you would do anything for whatever it was you were selling yourself for, such as money, a guy, a position, an object, or even attention. If I was a girl, and anyone called me that, I'd tell them exactly this, "Excuse me. I know you think you're cool and modern, but I know my dictionary, and I know there are thousands of other compliments that suit me better."

My thinking is simple: Be a bitch and you’ll get the life of a bitch.

Getting into a relationship shouldn’t be the motivation, not even marriage in itself is a great reason. Think about it. What’s so great about limiting the options of your life’s happiness to one incredibly flawed human, and committing to devote yourself to someone who is bound to hurt you as you are bound to hurt him?

Sounds like a cage to me. No one finds that security and satisfaction we long for in a cage. And if it weren’t for a one secret ingredient, marriage would just be a convenient social mechanism for the orderly preservation of humanity.

That ingredient is love.

Love makes it worth it. Love makes it great. Love makes commitment to one, and only one person desirous because love allows us to enjoy someone deeply and endlessly. With love there is kindness, there is gentleness, there is devotion, and when we hurt each other, there is forgiveness.

You want a guy to love you for you, not for your skills. You want a guy who’s crazy about you, not your timing. You want a guy who devotes himself to you, not someone who is simply challenged by you.

What you want is a man with good character. And the secret to getting a man of good character is to be a woman of good character. No one has perfect character, but you can tell when someone is moving towards being a better neighbor, a better servant, being more humble, being kinder, and being more loving.

Tips and tricks, maneuvers and manipulations, strategies and tactics, and even new paradigms and empowered attitudes won’t necessarily bring you love and fulfillment. They may get you a guy but be careful of what you long for. When McDreamy’s looks grow stale on you, when your own artificial self-esteem props fall away, and they will, you better be sure that the person you’re with has good character, or you’ll wake up in a nightmare.

God blesses us with beautiful surprises from the most normal and unexpected of places. And sometimes He does the opposite, taking away and bringing things to a close. But I’ve realized that the beginning and the end are two parts of the same blessing: one part to usher in the joy, and the other, to teach us to value what was.