"Ang hirap ng life ngayon no? It's that part where you actually try to make your dreams happen. Tama ba?"

(snippet from a facebook convo)

Off the Record

Back in high school, I only used to care about my family, friends and grades. And probably the occasional (and not-so-occasional) crushes.

But college has instilled upon me a seed that is far greater than anything I have been content to live with all my life. I long to create something greater than myself, live with a higher sense of purpose, and, to put it simply, wake up with a big smile on my face knowing that my day is going to be made of awesome. '

For most part, my college part has been nothing short of the usual routine of getting up, fixing myself, going to school, mingling with friends and other mundane activities. For a person who likes variety and excitement, this current situation can be frustrating — and maybe, even depressing.

Since I've figured out what I want to do in my life, everything started to fall into a perspective I've never had before. Some things I've stressed over before turned into trivial pursuits, while some things I barely held in good faith became my saving grace.

But still I am defeated — cowardly, indecisive, uncertain of what is and is to come.

Still, I am eyeing the great view from the sidelines, silently wondering if this is all there is to talk about my current reality.

One of these days, I hope I can be one of these two things — a person with insight, who understands that today is not forever, or a person with conviction, who takes a risk for that certain something worth believing in.